Around the Rim
Remember how he'd calmly look up while one finger traced the rim of his coffee cup?He'd glance skyward, nod his head, then smile- spending time with him was always worthwhile. Now as I walk a darker...
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Jan, this is a very poignant piece. I feel like you have shared some very personal thoughts here, as I know you have. After such a loss it is indeed the little things that we seem to miss the most....
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Jan,Thank you for your comments.I like the concept in this piece, and to tell the truth, this one was written within minutes of the inspiration. Could you help S2 for me? There is a definite tense...
View ArticleRe: Around the Rim
Jan, what about "Now as I walk a darker path" ?Jan or you can view my personal poetry webpage at Poems For The Heart and Soul
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Jan,Thanks. I've used that and have changed the next line. See if that makes more sense.Jan
View ArticleRe: Around the Rim
This is very touching.Does it refer perhaps to the loss of a husband? That is what I took from it.
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Oops, I forgot to pay attention to your rhyme when Isuggested that line. I'm not sure of "hath"...is seems odd to me, but may just be me. Remind me what the original was?Jan or you can view my...
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Jan,The word 'hath' is archaic and may seem forced here. I'm out of time now to respond much, but will return later on today. Thanks for your help. Let's make it better!~Jan
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Yes, Jan, I know the word, I just thought its use here seemed out of place for this case. Jan or you can view my personal poetry webpage at Poems For The Heart and Soul
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